Welcome to my townhall dreary. While I wish this could be cheery,
We've devised a better theory to incite you all to war,
So to let us test that thesis, we -- if Maddow never sees us --
Scare the Holy Hell Bejeezus out of you with lies galore -
With sick and scary fairy tales, as we have always done before,
Lies, and lies, and nothing more.
I pray you now to please remember that sad day in last November,
When each loyal party member curled up sobbing on the floor.
Recall you now, how then you saw me all but cry and call for mommy,
When we let this Kenyan commie stride in through the White House door,
Which, had you told the Helms's, and the Thurmond's, and the like, of yore,
They'd believe you nevermore.
And to the barrens we were cast -- a relic party, of the past,
Fumbling, blind, to find at last return from that Plutonian shore,
And we have naught to pin our fates upon, but squirrelly second-rates,
Like Sarah Palin, Orly Taitz, and others of that clownish corps,
Like some half-mad devil's army most would rather just ignore,
In the mainstream, nevermore.
And from this pain of failure smarting, desperate, we seek restarting,
With our stricken pollsters charting numbers falling through the floor,
Serving as a painful token of what voters now hath spoken,
Who pity now our party broken - pity now our GOPasaur -
The staid and steady No-No, who all change and progress does abhor,
And stands against it evermore.
So spin we now dark tales so dire all our land erupts in fire --
That Obama lights the pyre of the USA of yore,
That as you patriots lay sleeping he is tirelessly keeping,
Rampant socialism creeping, creeping right up to your door.
Marxist! Scary! Nothing more . ..
He bought GM! Controls the banks! He carves them up like ribs and shanks,
To pass them out amongst the ranks of all who genuflect before,
His noble self, his grace, the One, this liberalism's favorite son,
'Til all you cherish is undone and you're in slavery evermore,
'Til unions, ACORN, gays and showbiz types all divvy up the score,
Are you scared yet? Here's some more,
For now, between you and doctor he would set himself as proctor,
Care you needed may be blocked or vetoed, over sixty-four,
And weeks may pass, though some may scoff, between the "turn your head" and "cough",
By then it may have fallen off! -- that's just a taste of what's in store,
Bureaucracy, denials, waits -- oh, have you seen the like before?
Well maybe so -- but that, ignore.
For this won't work if you compare these myths and tales with which I scare,
To what we have -- for-profit care -- so down that sidetrack don't explore,
Or if we look, like judge and jurors, at the private health insurers,
They could not withstand the furor sure to come up to the fore,
So "Boo!" and "Booga!" "Socialism!" -- Do not look behind that door!
That "Ka-ching" sound, please ignore.
"Profits!" How are they to hoard, if by reform their ox is gored,
How will their CEO afford his winter home in Ecuador?
Unless they make the hard decision -- cut with surgical recission,
Any patient whose condition's too weak for their credit score,
For while there's balm in Gilead - some simply can't afford a pour,
Balance sheets, and nothing more.
"Profits!" How are they to keep' em, after from the sick they reap 'em,
If they're not allow to sweep 'em, sweep 'em out the clinic door,
Care would cost too much, they've cried it, should they actually provide it,
Their bottom line cannot abide it, so for mercy they implore,
That we should fight back any sight of daylight seeping in the door,
Hide their methods evermore.
So now, come forth the Teabag Turks (now brought to you by Freedomworks),
To disrupt Dems, and act like jerks and shout down all that they deplore,
Now bring the crazies to the stage, alight with corporate-sponsored rage,
Dick Armey's proxy war to wage, to scream until their throats are sore,
To harry liberal congressmen, until they're rattled to the core,
Drown the truth in empty roar.
And Limbaugh, from his broadcast tower pummels Godwin by the hour,
And Hannity will spray and shower all in bile like ne'er before,
And Beck's eyes have all the seeming of a loon, half-bright and scheming,
As he's ranting, wild-eyed, screaming tales of ACORN at your door;
And we, these lying liars' lies, from these three goons and many more,
We denounce them -- Nevermore!
For as they fan the flames of worry, working you into a fury,
Hatreds boil into a slurry viler ever than before,
On that noxious wave resplendent, may our fortunes rise ascendant,
And keep all you folks dependent on our corporate backers for
Your first breath, and your last, and all between that they can charge you for,
Bridle you, forevermore.
So you now, keep those townhalls raucous, from Tacoma to Secaucus,
And we shall lean on Baucus 'til he gives us all we're asking for,
We'll whip the Blue Dogs, and they'll cry, "If you don't like us, we'll just die!"
We'll serve Obama humble pie, and keep things as they were before,
When if you needed healthcare, and if you were unemployed or poor,
You would receive it . . . Nevermore!
